And That's Exactly What Happened
by MadTwilighter
Summary: A bunch of crazy explanations for crazy things the Cullen Family does!
1. Chapter 1

…**And that's exactly what happened.**

**This is a bunch of crazy excuses the Cullen Family comes up with to get out of trouble. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own my crazy mind and a copy of Twilight but I don't own the characters. Sorry.**

**Chapter1: Fish**

EDPOV

"Edward! Emmett! Jasper! Where have you been?" Esme screeched at us. "And WHY do you smell like fish!"

"Uh well… I, we can explain." Emmett started. Uh oh. We didn't want another one of his crazy excuses.

"Not here you don't." Esme said. I exhaled. Maybe we were saved for a minute while I thought of something.

"Kitchen table!" She yelled. I groaned.

When we sat down Alice, Rose, Nessie, Jacob, Bella and Carlisle were already there waiting to hear whatever we came up with. I was sure Alice had already told them.

"Explain." Esme ordered.

"It all started when Emmett found his Finding Nemo Happy Meal toys under his bed." I started. "Then he decided that he wanted to try something new."  
"Yeah!" Emmett replied. "I've never tasted fish before."

"Emmett." I said under my breath. "They were plastic." I rolled my eyes.

"Well anyway," Emmett continued, "After I found my Macca's toys I decided to go fishing."

"Uh-ha." Esme commented. "Where did you go fishing?"  
"At the creek." Jasper said a little too quickly.

"Really?" Esme raised her eyebrows.

"No." I replied. "We were at the aquarium."

"Uncle Emmett you're so stupid. You don't go fishing at the aquarium." Nessie commented.

"That explains why you smell like fish. But why are you wet."

"Well, Emmett forgot the fishing rods." I continued.

"So I decided to catch them with my hands." Emmett said proudly.

"And then." Esme pressed.

"He fell in." Alice said sarcastically.

"How did you know?" Emmett said.

"I'm a future telling pixie." Alice said. "You really should be blonde Emmett." She added.

I sighed. The conversation continued like that, with Emmett making really really stupid comments. He really is a blonde. Then the doorbell rang.

Esme walked out and answered the door. It was the guy from the aquarium.

"Do Renaldo, Winchester and George Smith live here? He showed Esme a picture of us.

"Dang! I didn't think he would find us." Emmett cursed under his breath.

"Emmett." I replied under my breath. "He's not stupid. He had our passes scanned."

"OHH!" Emmett said.

"Stupid boys." The four girls said at the same time.

"Okay. I'll let them know." Esme closed the door and came back in.

"Okay boys. He won't pursue charges if you work there for free for 20 hours each. Understood."

"Yes mum." We all groaned.

"Flying duck monkeys." Emmett said.

All eyes went to him.

**Okay. This wasn't that good but I wanna write more. If you give me some ideas I'll write more chapters. 3 reviews would be nice.**

**Love and Twilight, MadTwilighter. XoXo**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is the next chapter. The stories won't link up but they will all have the same theme. I would like to thank my reviewers ****Didyme the happy one**** and ****RJRRAA****. I also wanna shout out to ****RJRRAA**** for the idea for this chapter.**

**Chapter 2: And how exactly did you end up in here?**

APOV

The last Gucci sandals, in my size were on sale for $25!

"OMG, OMG, OMG! I thought to myself. I absolutely had to buy them. I raced to the mall and got a prime parking spot.

I then ran as fast as I could without attracting attention from the humans. Then I saw them. They were yellow, sparkly and in size 4. And someone else was headed right to them.

"Hey!" I yelled out to the stranger. "They're mine!" She just looked at me in confusion and continued towards the checkout.

"NOOOO!" I couldn't control myself now. I raced towards the girl and grabbed them out of her hands. "MINE." I said to her face. "M-I-N-E. MINE."

"Security!" the girl yelled. The next thing I knew I was being dragged out of the mall by two very large men. I knew I could easily break out of their grip but that would expose me. So I settled on causing a scene…

The next thing I knew I was being chucked in the back of their paddy wagon.

"Crap." I said to myself. "What am I going to say to Esme?"

The van pulled into the police station and I was put in a cell.

"Now pretty one," the creepy security guard. "You won't be in here long. We just need to contact your parents."

I sighed and started searching for my punishment. I wasn't supposed to make a scene at the shops. I wasn't supposed to make a scene anywhere. I sighed again. Esme knew me, and was playing with the holes in my vision and not deciding on anything knowing this was stress me out. She was deliberating between cancelling my credit cards, or making me share a room with Edward or burning my shoes. I mentally grred at her.

Then I heard Carlisle's Mercedes pull up outside. I listened to their footsteps coming down the hall. Then I heard Esme's voice.

"MARY ALICE CULLEN! HOW IN GOD'S NAME DID YOU GET IN JAIL?"

"Umm." I shrugged away from her in my cell.

"I want the whole story. And if you don't tell me, I'll turn around and go home and leave you here."

"No mum! You can't do that!" My voice raised in shock.

"Yes I can." Esme said sweetly. "I can also cancel your credit cards. All 83 of them." Esme smiled.

"Okay." I grimaced "I was at the mall and I knew there were some shoes on sale and some bitch got the last pair and I stole them off her and told her they were mine and then she called security and then I chucked a tantrum and I got thrown in the paddy wagon and now I'm here." I burbled out in one breath.

"Okay." Esme smiled but I could see the hidden anger. She didn't want to cause a scene in public. "We'll sort this out at home. Release her!" She told the security guard.

Not a word was passed in the car or when we got home. In fact, Esme didn't say anything until I was walking up the stairs to my bedroom.

"Alice," she said. "No shopping for a month." She smiled.

Ah, fuck it! I thought to myself.

**Okay that was my second chapter. If you have any more ideas feel free to review them. Also, if you want me to mention your story in my blog, **.com/, **review me a link and if I like it I will.**

**Love and Twilight, MadTwilighter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in like two months. Don't worry I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth or drowned in the floods so here's my next chapter.**

**Normal Disclaimers.**

**Chapter 3: Wahhhhh!**

RPOV

I rolled my eyes as I heard another screaming baby somewhere close by. Why couldn't mothers take better care of their children? Surely they could feed them or burp them or change them so they would be happy? Oh how I wish I could just steal one…

Then I had that thought…

I could hear the baby crying nearby. I tracked the sound all the way to a supermarket. Then I saw it. THE FUCKING BABY GIRL WAS LEFT IN HER CAR! I could just kill the human who did that. That was it. I was taking that baby home.

**THREE HOURS LATER…**

"Shh, baby girl, shh." I nursed the baby in my arms. She was almost asleep. Then Alice walked in.

"Rose," she started. "Why do I see you being arrested for kidna…? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU NURSING?"

"Chill Ali," I replied. "I'm just taking care of this baby. She was left all alone in a car by herself!" I whined. Then I continued making goo goo sounds. Alice rolled her eyes.

"BTW," She added, "Carlisle and Esme are going to be home in approximately 37 seconds." Alice smiled and bounced off. Good riddance… wait… 37 SECONDS!

FUCK. MY. LIFE!

I heard Esme and Carlisle pull up the drive. I was so screwed. I patted the baby to calm myself down; I really would like one of these things. I had to figure out what I was gonna say.

"Rosalie Hale! What do you have up there? I can smell something unusual." Esme said.

"Coming right down Mum!" I would say I found it on the side of the road. You always hear stories about babies abandoned in boxes. I made my way down the stairs.

"Um, Esme I found this baby on the side of the road and I JUST COULDN'T LEAVE HER THERE!" Of all people, Esme should understand my fetish for babies.

"Oh my!" Esme then fell backwards into Carlisle's arms. "Why did you bring that baby with you?"

"I said, I found it on the side of the road!" I knew she was seeing through my lie.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, tell me exactly what happened! I know you didn't find Zoey Richards on the side of the road! It's all over the news! As if you think I wouldn't know." Esme screeched at me.

"Fucking hell Esme. Don't be so loud. Zoey, if that's her name, was locked in a car with the windows up crying and I just couldn't leave her there!" I screamed at Esme. God that woman got on my nerves sometimes. Sometimes she was really lovely but when she was a bitch she was the biggest bitch you've ever met. "I'll take her back to the police station, say I found her on the side of the road and return her. Okay?" I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Fine." Esme huffed. "But you need to watch your language and kill the attitude young lady."

"Fine."

"Fine"

"Fine!"

"Just go Rosalie."

I went down the stairs and walked to the door.

"Hey Esme?" I yelled out. "Can I still adopt one?"

"!"

Ha.

**Yay. I finally updated. Sorry if you've been waiting for ages. Read and Review!**


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